We all have a way that we do life. We might call it our personality, or our natural bent—the way we handle pressure, the way we listen, the way we look for happiness, the way we control our world. We didn’t sit down one day and willfully choose to adopt it but it remains a choice nonetheless. Call it your style of relating. It is a carefully crafted approach to life—and especially to relationship—that colors the way we work and the way we love and the way we respond and the way we simply have a conversation with people. This can be quite an epiphany—you have a style of relating designed to make life work for you!
Our style of relating is borne out of brokenness and sin, and it is the number one thing that gets in the way of real love and companionship, the shared adventure and all the beauty of marriage. It’s really this simple—the number one thing that gets in the way is your way. I don’t mean insisting on getting your way—that the lights be dim or finding a better parking spot. I mean your way of going about life, your style of relating.
And that’s the memo.
By John & Stasi Eldredge from Love and War