Ever Been Ghosted?

There it was, 5 yards of black triple-shred mulch towering in front of my garage, leaving no access to cover for our vehicle parked behind that pile, for over 5 weeks.

Why, you say?

Two reasons. Number one, I’m not in my 20’s, 30’s or even 40’s anymore and had no desire to wheelbarrow endlessly in 90-degree weather to spread the load. The second, and more disturbing reason, the guy who promised months ago to do so, ghosted me; only 2 days after committing to be there first thing Monday morning. Edging and mulching as he had done for the last 4 years.

What the what is going on?

Integrity is gone. It vanished. After a couple weeks of a continual effort to get in touch, I finally gave up. Then had to find someone else in the prime of landscaping season to get the job done.

Ok Steve, big deal, get over it. The problem is, it happened 4 other times with 4 different people for 4 varying commitments over the same 2-week period. Ghosted without explanation. I was a little paranoid thinking, is it me? Then Colleen was quick to point out that would be impossible since I’m the best husband she’s ever had. Oh boy.

Is this a trend? Is there something I’m not understanding about the world as we now know it? Have we become more self-centered than usual?

“People typically ghost because they’re uncomfortable with addressing their feelings,” said Dr. Tirrell DeGannes, one of the psychotherapists with Thriving Center of Psychology. Its new survey shows 65% of Gen Z and millenials have ghosted someone, and 84% have been ghosted.

I found stat after stat pointing to this trend. How are we to respond?

As a Christ-follower, dealing with being ghosted can be challenging, but there are biblical principles that can guide your response:

  1. Love and Forgiveness: Jesus teaches us to love our neighbors and even our enemies (Matthew 5:44). Respond with love and forgiveness, even if the other person’s actions hurt you. Holding onto bitterness or anger can be harmful to your own heart.
  2. Grace and Understanding: Try to give the person the benefit of the doubt. There may be reasons for their behavior that you are unaware of. Extending grace and understanding reflects the love and patience Christ shows us.
  3. Prayer: Pray for the person who has ghosted you. Ask God to help them with whatever they may be facing and to give you peace and wisdom in handling the situation.
  4. Self-Reflection: Reflect on your own actions and responses. Make sure that you have not unintentionally contributed to the situation. Use this as an opportunity for personal growth.
  5. Healthy Boundaries: While forgiveness and understanding are important, it’s also crucial to maintain healthy boundaries. If someone repeatedly disrespects you or treats you poorly, it’s okay to distance yourself to protect your emotional well-being.
  6. Seek Community: Lean on your church community or close Christian friends for support and guidance. They can provide comfort, wisdom, and a listening ear.
  7. Move Forward: Let go and move forward with your life. Trust that God has a plan for you and that He will bring the right people into your life at the right time.

Remember, being a Christ-follower means striving to reflect His character in all situations, even the difficult ones.

Steve

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