Can We Avoid Shame?

In his book Shame and Grace, Lewis Smedes wrote, “The difference between guilt and shame is very clear-in theory. We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are.”

Everyone experiences a certain amount of shame and regret over sins committed in the past. The Bible has much to say about shame and regret, and there are numerous examples of people in the Bible who experienced these negative feelings. Let’s look at a few.


Can you imagine the shame and regret Adam and Eve lived with after their sin? They spoiled the perfect creation God had made. Adam and Eve were in a perfect world, had perfect minds and bodies, and had perfectly close fellowship with God. When they chose to sin against God, all of God’s creation was made subject to sin’s effects, including disease, decay, death, and separation from God for eternity. Every human being afterward was born with a sin nature—the natural inclination to sin. Thankfully, God is sovereign, and He had a plan even then to redeem His world through His Son, Jesus Christ, and give humanity a choice for salvation and eternal life with Him. But Adam and Eve must have lived out their lives on earth with much regret over their loss of innocence and its associated blessings—including living in a perfect paradise and walking with God daily in person.


Another biblical example of shame is the experience of the apostle Peter. John 13:37–38 describes the night of Christ’s betrayal. Right after the Passover meal, Peter tells Jesus that he would lay down his life for his Lord. Jesus responds by telling him that on that very night Peter would deny him three times even knowing the Lord. Later that night, out of fear of losing his own life, Peter denied ever knowing Jesus. After Peter’s denial of Christ, “he went outside and wept bitterly” (Luke 22:62).


Post-resurrection, when Jesus appears to the disciples, he restores Peter and breaks the power of the shame that he has been living under. Jesus does not call Peter out for the denial. Instead, he gives Peter the chance to engage in a dialogue that made him understand that his sin did not cost him his relationship with God. In fact, Jesus planned to build his church on Peter as its foundation. Jesus needed Peter to not wallow in shame, but rather to get back on the path of following and leading future flocks—feed my sheep (John 21:15-19). He realized that he was forgiven by the grace of God, and he moved past his personal regret to feed Jesus’ sheep.
The Bible teaches us that, when we confess our sins and have faith in Christ’s sacrifice and resurrection, we become children of God (John 1:12). We learn that God has cast our sins from us as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12) and remembers them no more.


We can and should regret our past mistakes so that we confess and turn from them, but we must accept that Jesus silenced shame by his resurrection. When God looks at you as a Believer, all that he now sees is the covering of His son Jesus over your life. Paul sheds some wisdom here in Philippians 3:13-14. “But one thing I do, forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Shame and regret are part of what is behind us. And when Shame enters our mind, we only need to say “get behind me Satan”, that has all been paid for and you are a liar. For there is now “no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)

Satan loves to point out what is true of each of us, while hiding the truth of who we are once we accept the sacrifice of Jesus.

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