I was so excited to launch our first ever episode of the Embracing Brokenness Ministries VLOG. Basically, the video version of a blog. We have a YouTube Channel set up with a few video posts and a whopping 4 subscribers.
Imagine this. I set up a little studio in my home office using a bookshelf as a backdrop. Heck, everybody does that. It makes it look like I read a lot (which I actually do) and depending on what books are on the shelf, it can be pretty impressive. Sarcasm intended.
After a painstaking few-hours and multiple takes, I captured a seven and a half minute video overview of the ministry. I did the final version in one take and was proud of myself (whatever that means), or so I thought. I can be a bit of a quick start when I get onto something. Well, this little something should have had a script, an edit and a second set of eyes on it before it was released. I put it up on YouTube, posted it to the EB Ministries Facebook page and shared it on my personal FB page. I then invited people to subscribe to our channel and got 17 views and a new subscriber in 15 minutes.
Then came the pain and the shame. Colleen got home, enthusiastically I sat her down at the desk and showed her my masterpiece. Not a word from either of us. Until I comment. “That wasn’t very good”. To which she said. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but that needed to be scripted and it was terrible. Rambling all over the place. You lost me after 2 minutes.” To which I said. “Ok, you’re right. I need to delete this”.
Then came the accusations. Direct to my conscious mind. See, you can’t do this. That was horrible. You’re not good on camera. You never should have recorded that. In fact, forget it. It’s not worth it. No VLOG – No book. You should just quit right now. And while you’re at it, cancel your whole day tomorrow and stay in bed.
OUCH!! A wave of shame and condemnation came over me like I hadn’t experienced in a long time. I usually know who’s knocking at my door when that comes up. Either my flesh or the devil. This time I was beaten. At least for the moment. I went to bed and decided to sleep in. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. I woke up to the thought of doing so but realized I had to push through this, breaking any agreements with the enemy that none of this is worth it.
I went about my morning routine and later opened Facebook to see an ad for Alexa Fischer and 1000-Watt-Presence. Her training course for those wanting to master the art of providing video content on the web and in their business. Here was her opening statement: “I’m so thrilled you decided to take action and sign up for this free training program. Let’s face it, we’ve all been there… Kicking ourselves for saying the wrong thing, or – worse yet – not saying anything at all, when you knew you could have made an impact if you did. Then mentally reliving that moment over and over again, in a wishful attempt to make it right. But it doesn’t help, does it?”
WHAT? Do you have a camera in my house?
In her 1st video lesson, 3 are free, she tells her students – “flip your script”. Identify one limiting belief, flip it to the positive, and write the new statement down. Put up post-it notes all over the house or office to retrain your brain to release that habitually negative thought.
I love how Jesus shows up and encourages us in our weakest moments. I don’t know Alexa Fischer. I may never meet her or even take the course, but I did get the message loud and clear.
Graham Cooke said it immaculately in a recent podcast – another confirmation for me this week. “All confrontations between the flesh and the spirit are a source of joy to the Father because He loves being your deliverer. He’s going to go up against your flesh, not to condemn you about anything, but to release you from the tyranny of it.”
Just remember, “There’s no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”. No need to go down that road. We can choose each moment of each day to follow the wrong fork in the road. Most of the time we just need to “look up”- our attitude can shift in a heartbeat.
Romans 5:5 tells us, “and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (ESV)
Can I encourage you today? No shame. It’s a trap. If I had made the decision to follow the Devils lead, I’d have missed the blessing. We know that providing video content for Embracing Brokenness is vital to teaching the principles God has for us to share with all of you. Learn from this. Give God a chance to meet you and adjust your attitude. Remember who you are and whose you are. No Shame.